Here I thought I had two weeks of food and fun in store for all of you. I had promised to cook and bake more recipes while I was on spring break from teaching. I didn’t get a chance to do that, but let me share this with you…
I filled my days and nights caring for our beloved almost 8 years old Golden Retriever, Coco. Over the past month and half, my intuition told me there was something really wrong with her, but with each weekly visit to the vet and multiple rounds of blood work all came up normal even though she was not herself. I began to notice her toasted coconut color began to fade like her sassy and beautiful spirit and my hope began to dwindle.
Then on Friday afternoon (March 23rd) I took her for an ultrasound and biopsies after having more x-rays and blood work done in the morning. From the ultrasound the vet suspected lymphoma cancer even though her blood work came back normal. On Monday we got the devastating news that she indeed had lymphoma cancer and in order to preserve her dignity and the spirit she had left and to prevent her from any further suffering we put her down last Friday. Who knew that doing the right thing could make one’s heart hurt with such intensity?
I do believe that being on spring break was a true gift. I was able to spend every moment with her. From morning til night and all over again. I saw the worst of her and I saw the best of her and all of it mattered because I was able to just be with her and next to her. I cooked for her and she LOVED it. On Saturday, March 24th, when I was baking that pumpkin cheesecake, the one that stunk to the palate, I noticed she perked up. *Thank goodness it smelled good. It surely didn’t taste all that good. LOL
That afternoon I noticed something… Hmm…she found comfort in my favorite pastime. She found comfort in OUR favorite pastime. So, from that point on I would boil cinnamon sticks or cook with curry to wake up her senses and to perk up her spirit and it worked. During her last days she dined like a DIVA on….Steak, sweet potatoes, chicken, rice and she even noshed on take out pizza. Cooking steak at 10 o’clock in the morning…didn’t matter to me at all. It made her tail wag and she ate. I was happy, too.
And..all these years I thought I rescued her….when in fact, she rescued me. She rescued my heart. She changed my life. She touched my soul and I will forever love my Coco Girl. She passed peacefully with both of us at her side. The endless kisses she gave Da Hubs as we sat with her will forever be running through my mind and her unforgettable paw prints will forever be embedded in our hearts.
Now, I continue to reach and look for her each morning. It’s beginning to sink in how far away she is from us. Over the weekend, I still poured two cups of coffee and told her all about my dreams as I watched the clouds in the sky out the window from the couch. Now our kitchen is way too quiet and I think she should still be here with us. But whenever we set foot onto that cold tile floor where she used to sleep, may we always feel the warmth of her loving soul at our feet.
Princess Coconut…we love you. xoxo